Jason Buffington .com

Do hard things — that was my message to a group of scouts and their parents … and to you too. #Scouting #Parenting

video transcript

I had the chance to deliver a scoutmaster’s minute (a short monologue) to a group of scouts and their parents last week. I shared the story of a boy who found a caterpillar cocooned just outside his window. He loved butterflies, so he was really excited.

Day after day, he watched and nothing changed … until one day there was the tiniest little hole and maybe the tiniest of something starting to poke out. He became even more excited and watched closely every day, but still nothing was changing.

So one day, he took a pocketknife and made the hole just a little bit bigger. All he wanted to do was help, just a little. Days passed, nothing changed again, so he made the hole just a little bit bigger … and was rewarded: he could see something starting to poke out just a little more. More days passed with no real change, so he made the hole bigger again.

The next day, do you know what came out? It wasn’t a butterfly. It was a pile of goo.

It turns out that time in the cocoon isn’t what matters; it’s the caterpillar’s struggle to break through. That struggle is what strengthens the frame of what would become wings. Without the struggle, the wings don’t fully develop … and the would-be butterfly doesn’t thrive.

I told the scouts and their parents: “Go do hard things. It’s what builds your wings.”

• Meeting every week is hard when you’d rather be doing something else.
• Camping every month, even when it’s not 80° and sunny, is hard.
• Summer camp, the OA, Micosay, Philmont … they’re all hard.

Go do hard things, because that is what strengthens your wings.

But the lesson wasn’t just for the Scouts. It was for the parents; because some parents will take out their little pocketknife and try to make things just a little bit easier. They open the hole, round off a corner; step in for ‘just this one thing’ … they’re just trying to help. What they’re actually doing is taking away the opportunity for their children to do hard things.

This isn’t limited to Scouting. If you’re a parent, whether your kid is in sports, the arts, or maybe even just a toddler on the playground; let them do hard things. In fact, tell them to do more hard things and then don’t help! Let them experience bruises, tiny cuts, and not coming in first place; because that is what will build their wings. Take those opportunities away and they won’t thrive or fly as much as they could have.

See you next Monday.