Repeated attempts is NOT the only key to improving a skill. In fact, sometimes when folks repeatedly just “do”, they develop – and then the repetition reinforces – bad performance. So, the answer can’t be just “try harder” or “try more often” – the answer is feedback through coaching.
Let’s talk about “A Tale of Two Speakers.”
Transcript
Many moons ago, I was talking with a colleague and their management about that person needing to improve their Public Speaking. I’m not an expert but since they wanted to speak about my topics — they insisted “they need more opportunities to speak”.
I pushed back — not because opportunities aren’t important; they are … BUT …
Repeated attempts is NOT the only key to improvement.
Sometimes when folks repeatedly just “do”, they develop – and then the repetition reinforces – bad performance. That’s what had happened so far; their repetition had built a “style” that was not effective.
It’s not just about “more” opportunities to try something. It’s about “better” opportunities to try something. What makes opportunities “better”? FEEDBACK Intentional feedback … from a coach — to someone with a growth mindset.
- A manager listens to “approve content.” … that’s different than
- A colleague listening to “affirm effort.“ … which is different than
- A coach listening to “help improve.”
Coaches listen differently — they give feedback differently — – and the one being coached needs to hear differently.
Sports analogy — if you aren’t willing to ASK FOR and ACT ON feedback from a coach during practice; then you shouldn’t expect to play in the Big Game. You want more game time, find a coach … and lean in.
Fast forward to just months ago, I was working with someone else who wanted to develop as a speaker. We had three joint speaking slots in one day. Here’s what she did:
- She asked questions weeks earlier on what I intended to say during my parts.
- She made notes on her ideas on what she wanted to say, so I could give feedback.
- After each session, we talked about small tweaks that each of us could make — and then we tried to apply them in the next iteration.
When the day was over, we did a final debrief AND committed to find another opportunity to continue her growth.
Two different attitudes:
- I want to play on game day; but I’m not interested for coaching and feedback.
- Seeking coaching before; asking for feedback throughout; applying it iteratively.
ANY SKILL that you’re trying to develop needs opportunities to attempt, but which of those approaches is more likely to result in growth? And which do you think a coach or mentor would prefer to work with?
See ya next Monday
Jason Buffington .com 
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